choosing medicine

Late last night while I was doing the dishes, after my husband had left for his night shift and the kids were asleep, I thought about how much I had always wanted to be a doctor and to be married to a doctor.  I don't remember my husband wavering very much in his decision to study medicine, but he did waver at times.  My husband was very interested in medicine but when he began preparing for medical school, we had quite a few physicians and their wives tell us not to choose medicine.  Each time he talked about considering a different career, I remember thinking, But I always planned to be married to a doctor.  Now, of course, when I think of that thought, I just laugh, cringe, and wonder (with a tear in my eye) at my complete ignorance. 

I could never understand at the time why those couples would warn us away from medicine.  But, now I totally get it. 

So, this is my advice, to all those reading and wondering:  If there is any other career that you can possibly choose, that would be just as satisfying and enjoyable as being a doctor, choose it - over medicine.

But, we often have to experience something in order to completely understand the warnings.  Plus, we are all different in how we view others' lives and experiences.  Like, I thought the best convincing power against getting a dog was to watch the movie, Marley & Me.  But, that movie had the exact opposite effect on my husband:  he wanted a dog even more after we watched it.

(BTW, my comment above makes it sound like I was only interested in "being married to a doctor," but really I wanted to live a life similar to those in Medicine Man and City of Joy... those movies affected me greatly when I was young and impressionable.)

I am really good at remembering only the good

Interesting how time changes our perspective and we remember only the positive, uplifting moments of our lives.  I wish I had kept a journal or written a blog years ago. I wish I could remember the details, how we survived the little trials as well as the big ones.  Because now, mostly I just remember always being happy.

I found a picture the other day of my husband and I.  It brought back so many memories.  In the picture, we had just stepped out of a university building onto a green lawn to enjoy refreshments following his White Coat Ceremony, a somewhat symbolic "initiation" into medical school.  It is sunny.  He is wearing his white coat.  We are both posing for the camera with huge smiles.  I was stretching my neck up, probably standing on my tiptoes; my husband had his head tilted, lightly resting on the top of my head.  Honestly, we look SO happy.  And, I remember being happy.   Life seemed perfect, and so wonderful.

When I looked at it the other day, I remembered another day when I found the picture in a stack of photos many months after it was taken, during my husband's second year of medical school.  I clutched the picture and quickly found a frame for it.  It was something I needed desperately at the time.  I needed to be reminded of how happy we were to begin his career path as a physician.  I needed to remember and see how much we loved each other.  I needed to see us unified in purpose and heart.  I placed it on a shelf directly above my kitchen sink.  I knew, with it placed there, I would be able to look at it often, whether intentionally or not.

Often I write about our years during my husband's medical school with fondness, with a hint of mystic and carefree happiness.  Initially, I don't think of the challenges, or the tears.  When I found this picture again, it reminded me of that day, of those weeks, more than four years ago, that I needed something to get me through a difficult time.  I remember well my feelings but wish I could remember the circumstances causing them.

So, if it ever seems like I recall past events with too much goodness, remind me about this post.  Maybe it will help jog my memory a bit more and remind me of at least some of the accompanying trials and challenges during those years of marriage, love, and life during medical school.  And maybe then my memories will be a bit more realistic, and hopefully helpful in some small way.

Choosing a Medical Specialty

This is a link for an aptitude test that medical students can do to see which residency, or specialty, their personalities are most inclined to:

http://www.med-ed.virginia.edu/specialties/

I found this link posted on a few other doctor-spouse websites last week (and the various results of their spouses tests). I remember my husband doing one during his third year of medical school when he was determining which specialty to chose. In the end, he did end up choosing a specialty that had been in the top five recommended specialties to fit his personality well.

It is interesting to see the results of the test, but so many other factors come into play when choosing a specialty. Medical school is wonderful at exposing students to a multiple of specialties and associated experiences, but sometimes personalities of attending physicians or other residents overshadow the actual experience.

Something like this aptitude test initiates the process of choosing a specialty more than anything. Hopefully, it allows for a personal, objective view of what medical specialty someone will be good at and enjoy. Good luck to all those out there trying to decide what to specialize in right now. It was not an easy decision for my husband.

Away Rotations

Here is a thorough and insightful post from another wife about away rotations during the fourth year of medical school - it is full of very helpful advice for anyone in that situation!

http://champagneandbonbons.blogspot.com/2010/09/advice-from-doctors-wife-away-rotations.html

TYLENOL Scholarship Program

A friend just sent me this link for information on a scholarship funded by Tylenol for people seeking degrees in healthcare-related education programs. The deadline for this year has passed, but keep it in mind for next year.

The program will award $250,000 in scholarships to forty students (ranging from $5,000 to $10,000) "based on leadership qualities and performance."

FINANCING LIFE DURING MEDICAL SCHOOL

Suddenly I remembered the other day how much easier our financial situation seemed during medical school. Because we were both in school during the second half of my husband's education, we had double the access to student loans. This gave us a hugely erroneous view of how to manage money.

Me: "It's almost December, we need to buy plane tickets to visit your family for Christmas."
Doctor: "We don't have money to buy five plane tickets right now."
Me or Doctor: "Should I take out an additional school loan?"
Doctor: "Okay."
Me: "Okay."

Done.

Some people say doctors go nuts (spending money) after they finish their training because "they have been poor for so long." I think it is because they have been "borrowing for so long." We didn't have a budget, just a record of running totals of our expense categories. We were careful and tried not to go over our "budget", but in reality we never really limited how much we spent, we just kept track so that we knew where the money was going, and, more importantly, when we needed to get an additional loan.

There was always money available if we needed extra.

I am glad that we are currently having opportunities to learn many financial (and sometimes, yes, painful) lessons. The resident physician's salaries are definitely not designed to single-handedly provide for a family of six. But, I feel that the lessons are very valuable. I believe there is a spiritual connection between learning financial self-discipline, and to be happy with what you have, instead of always wanting and wishing for more.

A 3-YEAR MEDICAL DEGREE?

The Texas Tech School of Medicine has just announced that it will offer an accelerated, 3-year medical degree program for people seeking to practice family medicine. In addition, it will offer students a $13,000 scholarship during their first year of medical school.

I am so blown away, and so impressed!

It is neat that this medical school has been innovative in attempting to solve the problem of the shortage of family practice physicians in the U.S. It seems the school has overridden traditional views of the U.S. medical education system - which is really hard to do. Most likely, tactics like these will be successful in attracting more people to become family practice physicians, and aid in the provision of more family practice physicians in the U.S.: students will graduate and be practicing sooner, and they will have a lot fewer loans to pay off.

Besides, do most of you feel like 4th year was a bit laid back and could be crammed in somewhere else anyway?

But, seriously, it's ingenious!

MEDICAL ERRORS

There is a great article in the NYTimes today about a physician that travels the country to advise hospitals on measures that can protect their patients (reduce infection rates, physician errors. etc.). 

The article reminded me of my husband's first year of medical school. In the Spring he returned from a two week medical school humanitarian trip to Peru and immediately began experiencing intense abdominal pain. After two days of discomfort and a misdiagnosis (a rare parasitic infection picked up from swimming in the Amazon River?) he was admitted to the university hospital with appendicitis. We experienced a few medical errors during those two weeks, and the most important ones were due to the hierarchy. We requested that my husband be discharged before we probably should have - just because we really, honestly thought that he might die if we didn't.

We both learned a lot from that experience. My husband gained the ability to empathize, rather than merely sympathize, with patients. He also learned the value of prioritizing his ability to effectively communicate with patients. I learned the importance of being an advocate for my husband as a patient and that questioning the attending physician's treatment of him was okay.

This article was great; I think I might buy this book for my husband. The author is an anesthesiologist.

PART-TIME MEDICAL SCHOOL?

Someone told me the other day that she had read an article about new, part-time medical schools. Initially I thought it was a great idea, until a friend said, "But would you really want to prolong this process?" Really! It would take my husband 16 years to become an anesthesiologist, rather than eight years. He would literally be approaching retirement when he finally became a professional and started paying off his medical school loans.

But, honestly, my husband just told me that he is estimating he will work 76-hours total this week. Part-time that would be 38-hours - almost a normal, 40-hour full-time job. A small part of the part-time medical school/ residency idea sounds appealing, but just a very small part...

MEDICAL SCHOOL VS RESIDENCY

My husband mentioned the other day that he actually enjoyed the four years of medical school more than he is enjoying his residency. He said that medical school was not nearly as bad as everyone had described it. He had great friends and enjoyed the constant rush of learning. He liked studying and felt like he had more time. I was surprised by this. I felt like he had no time and was under a lot of stress during those years. It seemed to me that he would be relieved to be done with school and to be a doctor, to be done with all of the long hours of studying, the tests, the presentations, the loans, the evaluations, the interviews, the stress! But, he assured me again that he really loved medical school.

It is interesting how different our perceptions are of his experience. But I must admit now that I love, love having reached the next phase of the experience being married to a doctor. I love not accumulating new loans. I love not saying, "My husband is a student." I never minded those things during the years of medical school. I felt lucky to be where we were. But I feel lucky to be where we are now too.

Hopefully we all feel this way, wherever we are in the journey.