Friday, March 5, 2010


The other day I was talking with a friend from our medical school years about how we have to be working on some sort of project, or we get a bit restless. We both have four kids and husbands who are too busy to help out much at home, so we are super overloaded. We discussed why we are constantly looking for new opportunities, even though our lives are already packed full of challenges, messes, homework, responsibilities, and projects. I absolutely love being a mom, and I love staying home with my kids. Why isn't it enough, why do we also need 'a project'?

Then I wondered if it is so that I have an excuse not to cook dinner SOME-times, or have all of the laundry folded AND put away.

My friend suggested that maybe we like to keep busy because our husbands are so busy.

On NPR the other day, a researcher related that couples are more likely to stay married for at least 10 years if they marry someone similar to them.

My husband and I once did that color personality test and it was determined that we have one of the most difficult combinations of personalities for a marriage relationship. But, I think that is true only because we are so similar. We are both very intense and throw our entire selves into meeting new challenges.

Medicine kind of demands that from physicians, the ability to focus, work hard, and sacrifice. That is okay with me, especially from a patient's perspective. If I were going in for surgery, I would want my anesthesiologist to be well-trained and able to and determined to focus - even despite lack of sleep. I love that my husband loves being a doctor, that he is happy in general, despite the long hours required, in addition to the 'pecking order' present at this stage in his career.

But, there is not an outside source demanding my focus and attention, (in addition to the demands of a family), it is an inner one. In order for me to be happy, I have to be involved in a project, one that stretches me and is just 'mine.' Of course my main focus and priority is my children, my family, and I know that my husband's is also. But, even with tons of responsibilities surrounding me, I feel most fulfilled if I am learning something new and trying to achieve a goal outside of being a mother and wife.

So, I am glad that my husband and I are so similar. He supports me in my craziness and I support him in his. I feel like he is easy to be married to. I'm glad we didn't take that color personality test before we were married and decide to just go our separate ways.

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