food, France, and finances

It's been more than three months now since I began eliminating processed foods, sugars and breads from my diet.  The first few weeks were the most difficult (and, honestly, it is still challenging sometimes)... but the experience overall has definitely been worth it.  I have felt empowered and healthy, truly healthy, inside.  I have lost inches, pounds, and everyone tells me I look much thinner and healthier.  I had no idea that the effects of a healthier diet would be so noticeable, for me on the inside as well as for others on my outside.

Recently, (as mentioned in the post below), I went home to visit my parents for a few weeks.  It was a great respite from the exciting spring we had as a family, being asked by our landlord to move and then told we could stay for one more year (after I packed up half the house).  I also volunteered to be the treasurer for my son's select soccer team (26 boys) after a long deliberation by my son about whether to play select or premier soccer this year.  I also volunteered to take charge of fundraising for my children's elementary school as a member of the PTA executive board, and began attending meetings and trainings.

(My little 4-year old niece took this picture of me during our family reunion.  My face/hair looks crazy but it shows my figure a little bit...)

After my husband took his boards and began his fellowship, I returned home with my kids... against my better judgement, digging my heels in, but fully recognizing that I needed to return to "reality" and my husband (I missed him so much!!).  What I didn't expect was the realization that I had charged an enormous amount of money to our credit card while away.  Our transmission burned up during our 20-hour drive and we spent almost $5,000.00 replacing it in our 2004 Odyssey (I know - not cool, or probably wise!), and because my husband had no income during the month of July, (the fellowship program gave the fellows a month off in order to study for their medical boards), I used our credit card for the month... to live.

The efforts of the last three months to figure out how to overcome my (previous, deeply set) emotional eating habits, to intentionally feed my body and soul, to master my cravings and irresponsible eating, to truly enjoy food but not be controlled by it, all suddenly seemed irrelevant.  The financial stress that quickly crept over me and throughout my being gradually took over during the first two days home... and I began to eat.  Granted I was eating healthy... peanut butter with apples or bananas, walnuts and strawberries on red leaf lettuce, brie cheese on healthy crackers, eggs with tomatoes and pepper jack cheese, homemade black bean burgers, delicious brownies made of walnuts, oatmeal, dates and cocoa, fruit and vegetables, etc. For two days I ate... and ate and ate.  Yesterday by 4:00 pm I was absolutely sick.  I felt awful.  I realized that I had allowed myself to give in to the comfort that food offers, the addictiveness of eating delicious food to satisfy stress and the bodily cravings associated with dealing with stress.

This morning I grabbed a book that I borrowed from my mom's bookshelf when I was there: French Women Don't Get Fat, by Mireille Guiliano.  (I have an fascination with France and always have... I studied French in college and have dreamed of going there (or living there!) ever since.)  It has been delightful to read.  There are so many wise tidbits... like:

To be successful, "...you have to be ready to embrace pleasure and individual happiness as your goals."
"A French woman's secret is mainly in her head.  It is one thing to identify your offenders, quite another thing to manage them."
"Novelty is a powerful distraction.  Choose quality over quantity: pick things in season."
"A walk not only uses calories, it can be wonderfully meditative, clearing your head and making you less vulnerable to eating for psychological comfort."
"Deprivation is the mother of failure.  Any program that your mind interprets as punishment is one your mind is bound to rebel against."
"He (her physician) was telling me to be the master of my pleasures as well as my restraint."
"Three months of discovering new things and getting to know your body better is a kindness to yourself that will continue to be repaid for years to come."

This is one of my favorite parts of the book so far:

"At least half of our bad eating and drinking habits are careless, they grow out of inattention to our true needs and delights.  We don't notice what we are consuming, we are not alert to flavors--we are not really enjoying our indulgences, and therefore we think nothing of them and overdo it.  Perhaps you have given up caring about fashion.  Or trying other new things?  It maybe easy for a wife, mother, and full-time worker to neglect pleasure; perhaps a part of you even thinks it's selfish.  But you must understand there is nothing noble in failing to discover and cultivate your pleasures... You owe it to your loved ones as well as yourself to know and pursue your pleasures.  And since everyone's taste and metabolism are unique, you must pay attention to yourself-- to what delights you-- so you can tailor your system and preferences.  It's a lifelong commitment, but it promises a lifetime of good health and contentment."

I am only half way into the book but I felt that I had to share some of these tidbits that inspired me to step back and evaluate my current psychological health and make a plan for being successful in my desire to live healthily, happily and fully. 

trying to avoid eating sugar... well, except for dark chocolate

I decided last Monday to give up sugar... to eat healthier.  My sister decided to do it long ago (a few months).  Somehow, knowing my own sister had the will-power, discipline, desire to do it, and that she had been successfully accomplishing her goal, made me feel that I could do it also.  I read this article a few weeks ago and was really shaken up: It's the Sugar, Folks.  I was eating a lot of sugar, and my kids were too.  I wanted to change... really... but I didn't know how and my attempt to decrease (not cut out) the amount of sugar in my family's diet only lasted a few days.  "Let's make cookies!" I said after only two days.  But after talking with my sister last Monday, I decided that it was time.  My motivation was powered by the fact that I knew I was not eating healthy, and I wanted (really wanted) to be healthier. 

The first day of "no sugar" was great.  No problems.  A few cravings (especially when my kids were fighting, whining, etc.) but I got through it just fine.

Day #2 was... absolutely horrible!  At one point I was pretty certain that whatever the reason for my new goal, (I couldn't quite remember what it was any more), it was NOT worth it.  Luckily I was driving my kids around to activities and did not have access to any sugar - I would have given ANY-thing for a chocolate chip cookie at one point.

Day #3 was not as bad... only difficult for my children, whom I also determined would cut sugar out of their diets (I told them that we had decided as a family, although it was entirely me who had decided - while my husband was working).  Z almost lost it when we walked past a Cold Stone Creamery.  Well, okay, he did lose it.  We regrouped later while eating some strawberries.

Note: I did decide that I would continue to eat dark chocolate (in moderation, of course).  I discovered recently that it has zinc in it, which aids in the production of progesterone.  That is important!  Too important for me to give up... okay, okay, plus I love it and I need some little sweet thing every once in a while (extremism doesn't really work, I think).  And the kids, or course, get sugar constantly.  A few examples:  E went to a birthday party on Saturday night, ate cake and came home with a goodie bag filled with candy; friends brought a plate of chocolate cookies to our house after church yesterday; Z and C went to a pre-kindergarten Teddy Bear Tea this morning and received gummy bears, Teddy Grahams, and rice crispy square treats; and chocolate cake was offered at an end-of-season soccer party this evening for E (luckily I swept them all out before the cake was cut).  All of this happened within a two day period.  There is sugar everywhere!!  So, I don't think I'm being "mean" as my kids keep saying, for eliminating sugar from our diet at home, because they still get sweets every once in a while.

I just read an article by Mark Bittman, the writer of The Minimalist food column in The New York Times for many years.  The article is titled, Healthy, Meet Delicious.  Here are a few thoughts from his article:

“What’s left to eat? I feel like nothing is safe.”  (I have honestly thought this same thing multiple times during the week.)

"Things are changing, and fast. Only 5 percent of Americans define themselves as vegan or vegetarian, but almost everyone believes he needs to eat better. What does “better” mean? ...much less junk, fewer animal products and more veggies. Could not be simpler."

Bittman concludes with: "...the primary challenge [is] to discover how to satisfy those cravings while staying as best as I can within the boundaries of what we know to be sane, or conscious, or well-informed — call it what you will — eating..."

For some reason I have substituted cheese as a way to satisfy my "cravings" for sugar... but I am not sure if that is actually better?  I don't think so.  I am trying to substitute fruits and veggies but my food bill is going out the roof!  

Day #8:  I have definitely noticed a difference in my body and mind.  It has only been a week but I feel better, everything feels better.  I sleep better, I wake up feeling more energetic, I feel stronger and happier inside, I handle stress better.  

Sugar really is evil, I guess.  Or rather, 'toxic', as it says in the first article (referenced above).  Can you believe that they have found sugar linked with diabetes (irrespective of whether someone is overweight or not) just like cigarettes are linked with lung cancer??  It is mind-boggling!  Particularly when you consider each thing that you, your spouse and your children are eating (and/or are encouraged to eat) - every single day.

Now the challenge is to continue eating healthy, as well as to convince my children of the benefits of eating healthy.  But, seriously, who would turn down a rice crispy treat?  I never would have before this week - they have always been one of my favorites!  But knowledge is power, as is experiencing the benefits of a new habit over and over again.  Hopefully, my kids will start now to make healthy choices in their eating habits - before they get set in their ways, like I am!

sleep first and argue later?

The moment my husband and I were married, someone offered the advice: never go to bed angry.  I took that advice to heart.  We didn't argue much at all during the first year of our marriage, but realized quickly that arguments only escalated at night when we were both irritable and exhausted.  We decided after that first year to "ignore" that advice, and save disagreements until the morning.  Usually we were ready to apologize by the morning and calmly discuss how to reconcile our differences in opinion.

I just found this article in the NYTimes Health Blog, Well: Really? The Claim: Never Go to Bed Angry. Scientists actually found that "going to sleep after experiencing negative emotions appears to reinforce or "preserve" them."  However, in this study people were shown images that would elicit certain emotionsl they were not involved in disagreements with their spouses.  I would argue that these are much different experiences.  The article also mentions other studies that have shown that "sleep, perhaps as an evolutionary mechanism, enhances emotional memories."  Isn't that interesting?  I have to admit that I have never felt like my emotions were actually "protected" or "preserved" during sleep.  I am guessing that maybe I am just so sleep-deprived, (and have been for about 10 years now), that no matter what, sleep makes me feel wonderful, and helps me to act much nicer (and less emotional) around those I love.

Protein... again?

I asked my spin instructor at the Y today what I should do if I have gained weight since January when I started taking spinning and aerobics classes.  (I actually meant 'size' more than 'weight' since I only look to see what I weigh when I go to the doctor's office, and possibly once a year at home on my husband's scale.  Rather, I judge my health by how I feel, and how my clothes fit.)

She immediately responded with: "Women usually don't eat enough, are you eating enough protein?"

I knew that - I guess I needed someone to tell me.  Someone with "authority."  I've been trying hard to eat healthy and eat enough, recognizing that I am pushing my body to work out harder than before.  But, it wasn't working.  All of my clothes are tighter now, (which makes me grumpy from the start of every day).  I wouldn't care if I could just go buy a few new tops and pairs of jeans.  But, I don't want to do that.

It was so easy in college.

Soooo easy.  I lived on chicken, tofu, scrambled eggs, chocolate protein shakes, salad, broccoli, apples, bananas with peanut butter, bagels, and cookie dough.  (This is quote literal.  I am a very boring person.)  I ran five miles every day.  I biked everywhere.  I never needed new clothes, only new running shoes.

But, back to the reality of an aging body, or whatever is going on, I need to find some better habits for eating protein.  I feel like I eat a lot of it already, (though I would like to be vegetarian if I could since I don't like to look at or even think about raw chicken, or any meat for that matter), but now I'll be trying to eat more.

I'll let you know if it works...

Light Therapy

A while back, a reader asked if there really are "happy lights" that I mentioned in an earlier post.

The answer is: yes.

This weekend, we got together for a barbecue with old friends from medical school.  My husband asked one of them, a psychiatry resident, what he would recommend for his depression, most likely driven by the seasonal depressive disorder (SAD) caused by living here (the Northwest) during the winter months.

"Wellbutrin?" my husband asked.

"No," the resident said, "get a blue light first - they have them at Costco."

I looked them up - Philips goLITE BLU Energy Lights - they get pretty good reviews from consumers.

Here is a good article in the NY Times about the lights and their potential in alleviating effects of depression: Light Therapy for Depression.

I was quite happy to have a solution other than medication.  Then the psychiatrist said, "But, don't put it right in front of you, or sit too close to it - it can induce mania."

I guess there's a downside to everything - except the sun, that is.  It's amazing how important sunshine is.

a healthy dog

This is another great article about the health benefits of owning a dog: Forget the Treadmill. Get a Dog.

Apparently, a dog is a greater motivator for people to go for a walk than another person can be.

The article refers to recent research at Michigan State University.  "Among dog owners who took their pets for regular walks, 60 percent met federal criteria for regular moderate or vigorous exercise.  Nearly half of dog walkers exercised an average of 30 minutes a day at least five days a week.  By comparison, only about a third of those without dogs got that much regular exercise."

I may just be buying a dog for some of my loved ones.  Because I know you would actually walk the dog.  Yes, yes.  You know who you are.

The Price of Freedom and Relaxation

We finally joined the YMCA near our home. We have deliberated for months now, visited a few times, participated in sports programs, and somehow resisted the strong pull from their blatant, hugely tempting advertisement of "free daily child care" in the fantastic kids' play area.

Somewhere during our deliberation, I decided that a membership would be similar - in a very small but very vital way - to my mom or sister living next door. I decided, due to the frequent absence and common exhaustion of my resident husband, that a gym membership is quite possibly a necessity for my (and my family's) mental survival during these years of residency. I requested a membership for Christmas, (I so let my husband off the hook this year!), they gave us a great "scholarship" due to our "low" income, and I am now working a bit from home, so hopefully our monthly budget will continue to support our decision to join.

And, ooooh, now I can honestly say that the two hours of available child care every day is... completely marvelous. My two youngest boys literally hop into the younger kids' play area with wide eyes and great big smiles. every. time. I. take. them. Pounding it out on the treadmill, using weight machines, swimming, spinning, stretching, just a short distance away while they play happily, well... I can't even begin to express my feelings, really.

I wish I had discovered years ago the personal, deep feelings of relaxation mixed with freedom available immediately upon obtaining and regularly using a gym membership (with free child care).

It's only been two weeks though. I read that all gyms experience a huge increase in usage during the month of January each year. We'll see if my current fascination, addiction, and apparent total dependence on my membership continues throughout the year. I hope so, it's so cold outside!

Bonding with Daughters while Tanning

This is an interesting article: The Tans That Bond. It is about the strong influence that mothers have when they introduce their daughters to tanning in salons.

Researchers asked 227 female students at East State Tennessee University questions in order to determine: how old they were when they started indoor tanning, and who they went with to the tanning salon for the first time.

Researchers found that it was "often" their own mothers (40%) who took their daughters to the tanning salon for the first time. These girls were, on average, 14 years old, rather than 16, the average age when other girls started indoor tanning without a mother's initial introduction. The girls whose mothers introduced them to tanning were "almost five times as likely... to be heavy tanners in college." (I think "heavy tanning" was defined as two or more visits per month to a tanning salon.)

This research reinforces the belief that unhealthy habits are easily transferred from parents to children despite massive amounts of education regarding adverse effects of unhealthy habits. The article states that "the World Health Organization has labeled indoor tanning a class one carcinogen, the same class as tobacco." (Oh my goodness.) Here is another article that discusses the possibility of indoor tanning being addictive.

The article concludes with a thought regarding the messages women transmit to their daughters. This is such a simple message: "sun-kissed" skin is beautiful, and getting it is worth the accompanying (greatly increased) risk of getting skin cancer, but what a powerful and life-changing message that is.

Some Recommendations to Combat the Effects of Stress

An article I read today (by Dr. Matt Brown-Ruegg) suggested to "lighten up" and laugh more, in order to "reduce the presence of stress hormones by nearly half." 

Done.

While shopping at Safeway tonight with my kids, my daughter pointed to my 1-year old and said, "Uh, Mom, it looks like he might have pooped through his pants." I was wearing a hoodie; I had him propped up on my hip with my left arm wrapped around him. I leaned him over and looked down: there was poop oozing out of the top of his diaper, all over his clothes and all over my sleeve. I started laughing - loud. It was a situation classified beyond any possible nightmare. I laughed all the way to the restroom. I couldn't stop. And it was a good laugh - not a polite, forced laugh to make it appear to my children and others that I was successfully handling a traumatic experience. No, this was a hearty, "this-is-hilarious" laugh. And it actually felt good, really good physiologically.

Other suggestions offered in the article to combat the negative effects of stress:  breathe, exercise, get a dose of sunlight every day, and take vitamin B3. Some foods he suggested to eat: oatmeal, salmon, walnuts, and dark chocolate.

It also recommended: get plenty of sleep (at least eight hours each night).

Although we have heard these things over and over again, I think I will actually try to incorporate two of his recommendations in my current lifestyle: to laugh more, and to get more sleep. I think I will start to abide by a strict bedtime of 10 p.m. every night. (Hm, I'll have to start that one tomorrow - since it's now 10:42 p.m.)

Habits are so hard to start (and end) - even for some one who has spent a lot of time studying the complex set of behaviors, attitudes, motivations, relationships, environments, genes, etc. that affect public health behaviors and how to improve them. Oh, so hard. We'll see - if I write it here, it will be harder to go back on, right??

An Increased Risk for Depression?

This is a really interesting article about parents and their increased risk for depression.

Uh-huh.

The article describes research done in a new British study with 87,000 families. Apparently mothers and fathers were at highest risk for depression during the first year of their child's life, with 39% of mothers and 21% of fathers experiencing an episode of depression. The risk for depression for both mothers and fathers "dropped considerably" during the second year of their child's life, (to about 19% for mothers (dropped by 1/2), and about 5% for fathers (dropped to 1/4th)), but "remained steady through a child's 12th year."

Of course indicators for those at highest risk for depression were parents with a history of depression, younger parents, or those with lower incomes.

The article states that the study listed "several potential triggers" for the increased risk for parents, such as: "lack of sleep, change in their responsibilities, and the demands made on the couple's relationship."

This study provided new data on fathers experiencing an increased risk of depression. The authors of the study recommended that there be "appropriate detection of depression among fathers," similar to the "routine screening... among postnatal mothers" already in place.

Interesting, huh?

I was feeling rather depressed during my hiatus from running (due to my injured knee). Honestly, I don't think I have ever felt depression like that. Now that I am running again, I can definitely blame The Knee, but at the time, I was really looking for answers to determine the likely causes for my emotional state. I never would have thought to blame my kids. I really think I was much more emotional before having kids. Anyways, during those two weeks, I was blaming everything else under the sun, but not the fact that I have four children. Now I know that I could possibly have a (19% x 4)% risk of depression (recently dropped from (39% x 1 + 19% x 3)% when my youngest turned 1-year). Wow, I'll know what to blame if I ever feel depression like that again and I'm still running.

FLAX: TO KEEP THE DOCTOR/BIKER HEALTHY

So, I finally gave in to my sisters' and mom's encouragement to use flax in my cooking. I found some at Costco a few days ago: Organic Golden Flax: Cold Milled Golden Flax Seed.

I love it!!

It's so easy to use and it is so healthy. I can't believe I didn't catch on sooner. We have added it to pancakes, popovers, and smoothies so far. It's easy to use and actually made our popovers and pancakes even yummier (there was no difference with the smoothie).

My husband looked at it and, with a crumpled face, asked, "What is that?" I said, "Oh, just another way I have discovered to ensure you and the kids are as healthy as possible." He laughed. (I make chocolate chip cookies a lot).

And then I read this in my husband's Bicycling magazine: "Some healthy fats--such as the omega-3 fatty acids in salmon and tuna--are one example. University of Pittsburgh Medical Center researchers found that omega-3s relieved joint pain in 60 percent of subjects, and a study published in the March 2009 Clinical Journal of Sport Medicine showed that they alleviated delayed-onset muscle soreness after strenuous exercise."

Woa. That ought to take care of any doubts the doctor may have in my latest cooking-with-flax kick (especially since we currently cannot afford salmon, etc).