VALUE IN ENDURING PHYSICIAN RESIDENCY YEARS - TOGETHER

Today in church a woman said, "The value of one's life is solely determined by the lessons learned during their lifetime."

This thought made me smile. Every once in a blue moon I think about how much easier it would have been if I had met my husband about seven years after I did. He could have gone through all of his physician education and training without the pressures of supporting a family; life would have been easier in so many ways for both of us.

However, this thought never, ever lasts long. I not only value the lessons I have learned during this time, but feel that it has been a rich and condensed course on how to love.

This thought also made me smile because sometimes I feel like I am (and realize later that I actually am) learning the same lessons over and over and OVER again. This reminded me of a short story:

"Autobiography in Five Short Chapters" by Portia Nelson

Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost...I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in... it's a habit... but, 
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down another street.

I really love to read this every once in a while. I cut it out of a newspaper years ago and stuck it inside a book full of pictures, water colors, newspaper clippings, photographs, and poems that I love.

I can apply this to any lesson I am learning. Sometimes I apply it to how I communicate frustrations to my husband. Sometimes I wonder if I am stuck in a habit of disciplining ineffectively.

It takes so much to have "my eyes... open" and "walk down another street."

But it is worth it, right? Once a lesson is actually learned, I value it, and feel wiser and more capable of meeting future lessons. And the lessons most valuable are ones learned while strengthening the relationships around me. It is all interconnected, and definitely worth it.