Monday, May 17, 2010

Two Kettles Boiling

A fun conversation with the doctor last night.

Me: "I have been thinking about those couches that you want to buy for the family room in the home we will be renting. I don't think we'll need couches in there - we will already have couches in the living room."
Husband: "I think we'll want couches in that room too."
Me: "But the room is already so small, if we have couches in there, then that is all that will fit in there."
Husband: "It's actually a pretty big room, and that is where we will have the t.v.  I want couches in front of the t.v."
Me: "We don't even watch t.v. We don't need couches in front of the t.v.  We can put the love sac or something in there."
Husband: "No, I want couches in front of the t.v.  I like to watch movies every once in a while, and when I do, I like to sit on a couch."
Me: "Well, actually, we don't really even need a t.v."
Husband, after a pause and getting notably frustrated (suggesting we don't need a t.v. is like suggesting we don't need food, even though he rarely watches it): "What do you want to put in the family room if you don't put couches in there?"
Me: "Well, I'll need room for my art table."
Husband: "What?! I don't want an art table in my family room. Why would we have an art table in the family room?"
Me: "Because when there is an art table with crafts, markers, paper, puzzles, etc. on it, then the kids sit down at the table, and do art."
Husband (sounding more and more annoyed): "No, no."
Me: "And when there is a set of couches and a t.v., the kids sit down and demand to watch t.v."
Husband: "No. I am not letting you put a big art table in the family room. That is ridiculous. I am not letting you fill this house with strange furniture, like all of your tables everywhere!" (I have a thing for tables.)
Me: "Try not to be so normal. We don't need to have couches in our living room in front of a t.v. just because 99.9% of the population does."
Husband, silent but his face is contorted and I know I've pushed him too far, (one of the worst insults I can give him is that he is like everyone else), slowly says: "Look, I am making a lot of sacrifices. I'll be commuting longer to work (30 to 45 minutes) just so that you and the kids can have a nice, family neighborhood and a bigger house. Don't push me, and don't stress me out."
(A valid point - I am a very selfish person, naturally. Just thinking about being married to someone like me exhausts me.)
Me (unable to let it go): "Honey, you don't even watch t.v.  And you'll be working long hours. And it's the kids we are talking about here. I guess you don't mind if they sit and watch t.v. all day then?... And, by the way, I am making sacrifices too, you know."
Husband, with raised eyebrows: "Are you?"
Me, silent with mouth wide open in disbelief.
Husband: "Okay, okay, I know. You are making sacrifices also. Just, please, try not to be so difficult to live with."
I had just brushed my teeth and was swishing mouth wash. I almost lost it all. I started laughing so hard. My husband is infamous among family members for being difficult to live with.

Luckily, my laughter softened things up and we both agreed that we are feeling a lot of stress. We move in four days. My husband begins his anesthesia residency in a new program and has a lot on his mind. Somehow I am stuck on the decor of the family room. Maybe we should just stop talking about anything of import - and things not of import - so we can survive the next four days without any injuries, or, even better, any insults.


cheri said...

yep, you guys are stressed out.

i left you an award on my blog. i hope that would de-stress you even for a bit :)

Jeff and ReAnn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jeff and ReAnn said...

sorry. this is what I was trying to type.

This is funny to me for two reasons. One the house we just bought in OH actually had an art table in the family room for the kids... one small couch and a small tv... so maybe you can compromise. LOL. And the other day I told Jeff that I was going to stop parenting our children until we move and I thought he should do the same. He was intrigued of course and asked why. I simply told him that "No parenting is probably less damaging than bad parenting". Right? Then we laughed. As if I could ever give up my constant need (fight) for control. Life is so funny.

May 17, 2010 8:56 PM

Liz said...

ReAnn, I feel so much better after reading your comment! Two weeks ago I told my husband that I was going to completely let go and let the kids watch t.v. or play the wii all day because I needed to start packing and cleaning. He said I was a bad mom. I told him to pack and clean the house in his spare time while entertaining four children. He hasn't said a word since...