Wednesday, June 2, 2010

One Difference between My Son and My Daughter

I have to add this post as a follow-up to my earlier post about my daughter and the cycle we go through in life.

A conversation I had with my son earlier today:

7-year old: "I wish I were 18-years old."
Me: "Why do you wish you were 18?"
7-year old: "Because... then I could drive."
Me: "But, aren't you enjoying being young too? You have a lot of responsibilities when you are 18."
7-year old: "I don't care."
Me: "You should just be happy now, when you are seven."
7-year old: "No, I want to be 18. Then I could drive and have a cell phone, and do what I want."
Me: "Interesting."
7-year old: "When I'm 18, you'll be like 100."
Me: "Ha! I'll only be 42."
7-year old: "No you won't! You'll be like 50-something... won't you?"
Me: "No, I'll be 42."
7-year old: "No, you won't."
Me: "You are almost 8, plus 10 is 18. What is 32 plus 10?"
7-year old: "Oh, 42... wow."
(Which, if I recall correctly, is the same as 100 when you are 7-years old anyway... but I still had to make my point, no matter how immature that is, mostly because I know that he knows that people die when they are "like 100.")

My 7-year old son seemed determined to wipe me out of the picture of his future. The contrast of this conversation to the conversation I had just days before with my daughter was so stark, I was totally taken back. The difference was truly mind boggling.

My mom called today after reading my earlier post about my daughter and we talked about how strong the bond is between a mother and a daughter. She suggested that maybe it is so strong because mothers realize their daughters will go through what they experience(d) as mothers. My heart ached as I thought of my daughter going through all that I have.

Today, my 2-year old sat and played peek-a-boo with me (like I was the child and he was the parent) while we waited in line at the DMV (yes, it was super long, as expected). I laughed so much, and everyone around me did too as they told me how cute he was.

I hope that I mother my children with joy and am a good example for my daughter, so that she will know how wonderful (and worth it) it is to be a mom, just like my mom did.

I, seriously, cannot imagine doing anything else that would bring me more joy.

As for my son, I just don't know what to say. Maybe I am truly throwing off his "grove." Hopefully he will someday get a small taste of what it is like to be a mother... or, maybe that really is impossible.


cheri said...

and you really thought that what i wrote was good enough to link back to...i'm so honored and thankful :)

as for your son, well...i dunno what to say. i may be having that same conversation with my son in the next couple of years...

Britt-Marie said...

Thanks for this post. My husband wanted to know what I was reading cause it made me laugh out loud.

Jamie Lamb said...

Oh, how your blog speaks to me! I just stumbled onto it tonight. My husband is a surgical resident, and I can relate to so much of what you write.

Ya know, this life is difficult and happy at the same time...(but I still encourage my kids to become dentists!)

cheri said...

me again :)

hey, i left you an award :)

Barb's blessings said...

That tearing away is a stage that little boys need to go through as they mature. It's necessary but hard to understand when you are watching them go through it and feeling them pull away. But, I almost think it is important to their male identity.

Girls seem to identify with you more as they mature. I remember Rachel saying to me when she was about 10 "I don't want to be a mom because it's really a lot of hard work." I tried to tell her that it was hard work but it was so worth it. I'm not sure if she has figured that out yet.

Great post Liz! Thanks for sharing.

Love you,