Tuesday, August 9, 2011

blog feedback

Yesterday, I received a bit of feedback for this blog.  Feedback from someone whose opinion I value, trust, and do not fear (you know what I mean... and this feedback was not from my husband - he doesn't read my blog).  It was brief and concise:  "You make your husband out to be a very difficult person to live with.  You never write anything nice about him."

Initially, I laughed.

"Of course," I responded, "because right now we are in residency, a stage of life that brings out peoples' worst.  There are a lot of negative, revealing conversations, reactions, misunderstandings, and experiences that I think others going through a similar situation appreciate hearing.  "And," I added, "you must not read my blog that often, because I also write about how wonderful he is - sometimes."

"I haven't seen that," my evaluator continued, "and there has to be some good, interwoven with the negative.  Of course your husband has flaws and life is difficult, but people are not getting the whole picture.  I know your husband is a loving and kind person - because I know him and I am around him, but you do not ever describe him that way on your blog."

I thought about my recent posts.  I was sure that I had just barely said nice things about him, about his kindness, patience, and how wonderful he is to me as a husband, companion, and friend.  As soon as I was able to, I looked at my blog.  I scrolled through posts, skimming the words, continuing back months and months.


I sat there quiet, wondering how I could have misrepresented my husband so drastically.  Feeling grateful for the feedback.  Wondering how I could repair my husband's image.

So, I will start today, to try to paint a more true - or complete - picture of my life with my husband, not just the negative aspects that I know people will find interesting and that I will find therapeutic to write about, but also the boring aspects of residency life, the constant loving support my husband offers me, the strong connection we have due to long conversations about our days, our surprises, frustrations, triumphs and disappointments.  My husband is my absolute best friend.  He is patient beyond my ability to comprehend.  He listens to me - always.  He makes me feel loved and appreciated.  He is constant, strong, loyal, loving and kind.  I can depend on him for anything.  He reminds me often that my life "would be so boring" without him.  This is very true.

But, in essence, my husband is the reason my life is so wonderful.

Now you all know how truly spoiled I am though - so you might not want to read another word that I write on here.


Wife of a Resident said...

That's good advice for this blogger too! It seems easier to write about all the conflicts in residency, and honestly I didn't notice the bias. Maybe because I made the assumption you were married to a wonderful man like I am, and I was right.

Nathan said...

That is some interesting feedback.

While we are on the topic, I've noticed that you never seem to post about how awesome your brother is.

Barb's blessings said...

Good advice! I admit sometimes after reading some of your posts I want to throttle Jared and yet I know what a wonderful man he is and how much you love him. I'm glad your wrote this post. It's always easier to focus on the challenging aspects of life. I am wallowing myself right now in life's challenges. But tomorrow will come and God is in charge. I trust He has it all figured out. Thank you again for your kind words -- they meant so much!

Love, AB

Jamie Lamb said...

You know, most of us know what it's like to be married to a resident. My husband is a flawed-super-hero, just like yours. :)

Lindsey said...

Ya. I'll admit, I was starting to wonder about that guy. I thought, "he seemed so nice when I met him..." Hahahaa, glad to know your marriage is not in jeopardy. ;)