Saturday, October 29, 2011

we don't see eye to eye all the time?

The other day I was talking with my husband and realized - with a sudden jolt - that we are very different people, and that we will never see things in the exact same way.  (This was an important realization for me - and - I know, I know - way overdue.) 

After this conversation, I thought of why it had taken me so long to realize this.  In general, my husband and I are very similar people, we have very similar values, beliefs, work ethics, priorities, etc.  But still, our genetics differ greatly, as do our lives and the billions of tiny little experiences that have led to where we are now. 

I concluded that there is really no way that a person could ever find someone that would be just like them and see things as they see them.

Not surprising, huh?  But, for me, this was huge.  I have assumed for so long that my husband and I see things in the same way, that he completely and totally understands my reasoning behind everything I do.  Apparently, this is very, very untrue, I now realize.  But, it's okay, really.  How boring would it be if we were completely the same, or could completely understand and accept each others' reasoning?

The other night I went to a marriage class provided at my church.  Some of my friends attend each month with their husbands, but my husband would rather have his spleen cut out with a spoon.  He was working all night, so I decided to take my kids (childcare is provided) and attend the class.  Another attendee made the comment that they had heard someone say: "We should not get married to try to fix each other, but to understand each other."  I loved that.  I needed to hear that. 

I think one reason people get married is because we realize how much happier we are when we are with the person we want to marry, and we can feel that they make us want to be better and expand ourselves and our life's experiences.  If we were exactly alike, I imagine we wouldn't feel that way.

Of course, it is super nice when we do see things the same way, understand each others' reasoning behind our actions, and see eye to eye.  But the rarity of it maybe - and honestly - makes me appreciate it more.

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