Wednesday, October 30, 2013

interviewing for a job... finally...

Interviewing for a job - post-training - is not quite what I thought it would be like.  Of course, I didn't join my husband on any of his previous interview trips - those for med school, residency, fellowship - so much of this is very new for me.

My husband applied to many places... but let me just mention here that, in particular, the places on his list seem to all have a few common themes: they have at some point made their way into his Bicycling magazines, their population is less than 100,000 people, and they provide a plethora of outdoor hobbies and adventures. 

The first interview trip was very stressful for me, for many reasons:  leaving my four children with multiple individuals to scramble through their hectic schedule; I actually had to go to a mall to look for an outfit that I could wear to the dinner with spouses (I do not enjoy the mall, to put it lightly); watching myself spending money (we did not have) on flights, hotels, rental car, food on the go, etc. - not to mention my outfit at the mall.  I was also constantly transporting my husband from one location to the next and had to be close by when he needed the car.  (In addition, during the trip I was finishing up writing three grants for my kids' elementary school, researching neighborhoods, crime statistics, schools, etc. because I had procrastinated just a bit.)  I came back completed exhausted, grateful that it would be the one and only interview trip with my husband.

But, the next interview trip came along quickly.  My husband promised me a beach house (ya right, but it was a sweet gesture) if I came along - because I told him I would only be joining him for one.  This trip was nice, however (yes, I gave in and went).  I took along a book.  I already had my outfit (down to the earrings, shoes, hairstyle) planned out (it was the same as the first interview - exactly).  I knew what to expect.  I was ready for all of their questions.  I was more relaxed.  I knew exactly what I needed to do, and how to do it.  It was all very nice.  I even went trail running while my husband was interviewing (an important part of my "research" of the city).

We just got home late last night from the second interview trip.  Things seem crazy now.  Now that we have choices.  We would have been happy with one choice, but now we are completely confused  and unhappy with two choices staring at us.  Interesting.  Sometimes I feel so mixed up inside and start worrying (much more than I think is healthy) about making the wrong choice.  Other times I stand back and think that it is not such a big deal - we've always loved where we have lived and found wonderful people around us - and we can always move again.  Why does it feel like such a huge deal to actually accept a job, now that my husband is almost finished with his medical training? 

An extra little tidbit of information that seems important to include: my husband will not start his job until late this coming summer - meaning that all of the interviewing, deliberation, praying, intense discussions, stress, does not mean that we are moving right now.  It does mean that we need to be making the decision... but we are discovering that this is difficult with older children... especially since the anticipation for them is just as bad as the actual move.  It seems to be making our 11-year old son crazy.  He does not want to leave his friends. I think somehow my husband and I need to figure out a way to stop talking about where he will take a job and the fact that we will be moving.  Completely stop.  Until my husband's start date is a week away, then we will bring it up casually, quickly move and then be done. 

The poor kids.

So maybe this decision is a huge deal, maybe we do need to make "the right choice", because I can't imagine doing this to the kids again... ever.  We need to stay somewhere at least 14 years - that is when our youngest will turn 18-years old.  14 years.  Anyone can survive anywhere for 14 years, right?


Jamie Lamb said...

I'm with you, I never want to uproot my kids again! It was hardest on my oldest, poor kid.

I also feel the same way about malls. Ugh. Not fun, but kinda necessary sometimes. I took my 2 yr old to the mall for the first time a few weeks ago, and she was in heaven! She's all about accessories, preferably sparkly. Some day maybe she'll teach her poor, nerdy mother how to accessorize. :)

From A Doctors Wife said...

I know that feeling all too well. We had been so used to being told where to live based on matches, and how long we will live there based on specialty, that when you actually get to pick you don't know if you can trust yourself. I have heard that most new docs move within the first 3 years of starting practice. I hope that isn't true because I plan on staying put. Maybe there isn't just one right place? I am sure you'll get it figured out.

Kellys Reality said...

Congrats on the job hunt! We just went through that and are signing his first contract this week :) Its stressful and scary but also so exciting! Fellow Dr.s wife here-great blog!