Wednesday, March 3, 2010


So, it is day three of my husband's internal medicine rotation at the V.A. this month. During our entire marriage, he has rarely missed calling me one or even two times throughout each day to talk.

After not hearing from him today, I finally called him at 5:00 p.m. to find out when he thought he would be home. He was swamped and said he would call as soon as he was finished. A 15-second exchange.

It feels like day 23. 

No matter how many times we have months like these, they are always so hard to get used to. I think I forget how difficult they are as soon as they end.

The most helpful thing for me to survive these months (they are similar to a few months during the 3rd year of medical school) is to decide to continue life as usual, minus the husband. If I try to plan around him at all, I start to go nuts. But if I have the attitude that we are on our own, we are genuinely delighted if my husband happens to have some time off and is alert enough to spend time with us. And conversely, we are much less, if at all, disappointed when he misses Friday pizza/movie/popcorn nights, soccer games, school performances, or even just routine school nights with homework and reading books. 

It is a lot to ask for kids to get used to the ups and downs of the schedule of an intern. My husband is doing a transitional year, so he has more variety in his rotations. We are reminded each month, even during the bad ones, just how lucky we are. When he asked me about how I felt about moving twice in order to do a transitional year, I thought he was crazy. Then he said, "If you and the kids want to see me at all, we have to be willing to move twice." I still thought he was crazy, but agreed that having time with him was more important than avoiding the trauma of moving twice in one year. And now I am so grateful that we did!
The burden of shouldering life as usual, minus the husband, is huge. Two things that save me are: friends and my treadmill.

Since the day before my husband started medical school, I have relied on close friends, old and new, that understand what I am going through. They are priceless, especially during challenging times.

And, my treadmill truly is one of my best friends. One of my MS friends described her treadmill as "everything" for her.

We laughed together as we talked about how much we really do love our treadmills. I am much more patient and happy if I run on it before my kids wake up and all of the craziness begins.
Merit Fitness 725T Treadmill

I'll add a link here for a treadmill for sale on Amazon.

Just in case anyone NEEDS one... right now...

1 comment:

Liz said...

liz! this is great! love the blog. so true about "expectations". haven't seen sid in days, but because i prepped myself for that, we're just delighted when we DO see him!
oh and i agree on exercise and friends! we're working on the "friend" part, but calls to friends abroad sure help! i need a treadmill...maybe this christmas!? keep up the great bloggin'! Liz