Monday, April 26, 2010

Just Scratch Those Mothering Comments That I Made Earlier

I totally lost it on Saturday.

And the only reason for it (that I can pinpoint) is: stress.

I was in a hurry. I was worried that I wouldn't have enough time to prepare a side dish for a barbeque with friends. I was concerned about whether the baby would last, or rather, not start screaming because he was hungry, until we arrived home. I had been rushing to and from two school fundraisers, a baseball game, the post office, and the grocery store, with all four kids, all by myself, during the previous 24 hours, and I was in a frenzy, to put it lightly. And, to top it all off, my two-year old had barely snuck in a 10-minute (instead of 2-hour) nap during the craziness.

(Plus, we are moving in three weeks, so my stress level is a bit elevated anyways!!)

He wanted to push the grocery cart, by himself, through the parking lot to the car. After ten minutes of attempting to compromise and get him into his car seat, the stressed Liz, not the mother in me, just took over.

So, all that stuff in earlier posts about me having a great ability to handle meltdowns in a sweet, calm, and understanding way - forget I ever wrote any of it.

Maybe if I could eliminate all of the stress in my life, I could be that way all of the time... controlled, kind, patient, nurturing, and sweet... or maybe at least some of the time.

I like the quote by Mother Teresa: "God does not require that I succeed, only that I do what I can." I'm grateful that I get more than three strikes, because, in reality, I can't eliminate stress. I have four kids. My husband is a doctor and is either absent or present-but-sleeping-or-sleepy the majority of the time. And, let's face it, I like to be busy too, so some of it I bring on myself. Maybe that's my lesson to learn - to slow down and enjoy being a mom, rather than try to do everything, and I mean every-thing, so that I can eliminate that "stressed-out-Liz" from taking over again.


Steve and Katie said...

honestly, I'm amazed you made it 10 whole minutes! Kudos to you! I think thats how my mothering is most of the just depends on the day! You still are that "mother with a greater ability" but face it - we can't be completely amazing ALL the time.

Timani said...

Just have a few more'll come to a point that you just let everything go, well not everything, just all the extras, unnecessary things. Honestly I thought it would practically kill me, because I loved to be involved, I was the PTA President when all 5 of mine were in the SAME elementary school, I sat on Community Councils, School District special committees, was involved in the local political stuff, attended MSA activities when I could fit it in, I was also the YW Pres, volunteered for tons of stuff, I taught a talented and gifted class at the elementary on one day a week and on and on. This was when Dan was in med school, but my habits began previously. Although, with the twins on the way I started cutting back on things and honestly it feels so good not to be going all the time, hauling kids EVERYWHERE and feeling frazzled and under so many time constraints. This year when Dan moved and the rest of us stayed in Utah, I quit everything. I'm practically a stay-at-home mom now. I'm not on any committees at the HS, JR high or Elementary, district, community, don't have a calling except Visiting Teaching, but that may change as the twins turn 18- months next month (NURSERY HERE THEY COME!) So now all I do is take kids to Scouts, mutual, sporting events and attend those, grocery shop, and get in some friend time and it sure feels much less stressed.

Liz said...

Timani, You absolutely amaze me. I need a nap.