1. Never install carpet in my home.
(I spent precisely 2 hours and 39 minutes scrubbing stains out of our carpet on Friday.)
2. Never rent another home or buy a home with carpet, (except maybe in the bedrooms).
3. Lock up or throw away all crayons, markers, pastels, paints, pens, pencils, and anything else that can be used to draw or color.
(I spent 32 of those minutes erasing a large, beautiful illustration done by my two-year old on three carpeted stairs with a bright pink marker. Now I need to tackle the multiple drawings he has done on the walls.)
4. Stop buying and/or making play dough. Just stop.
5. Do not print off any more pictures. Or, better yet, try not to take too many pictures, then put them in Picasa albums, don't print copies.
(I take a lot of pictures, and always have, and now I have bins and bins full of loose pictures - and I don't scrapbook.)
6. Never buy anything else to use in the kitchen. Really, how much do you need to cook something anyway?
7. But really, just don't buy anything else. Or, for every one new thing bought, sell or give away something else.
8. Don't move. ever. again. or maybe just one more time after residency. that's all. And, if so, pay someone to watch the kids.