Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Mother's Day This Year

Mother's Day has always been a holiday that I look forward to because my husband totally spoils me (he was taught well). Breakfast, diapers, dishes, laundry, putting the kids to bed, etc. - things that he mostly only does once a year, on Mother's Day. (The BEST is when Mother's Day lands on a Sunday. Really.)

But, this year, I feel different, and I have been trying to figure out why. I wondered if it is because my children are old enough to appreciate the holiday and present me with gifts. My 5-year old daughter described to me the "surprise" mother's day gift she is making for me as I drove her to pre-school this morning. I told her that I am very excited about it (a necklace - wow!). I wondered if it is because of the ever-present, hovering cloud of stress due to The Move in 2 1/2 weeks.

The Mother in Me: Real-World Reflections on Growing Into MotherhoodBut, finally, while writing this, I think I've pinpointed the reason. Last week, while pondering about my oldest son and how he seems to ignore about 80% of what I say, and is, therefore, constantly getting into trouble, I recognized that I am trying to control my kids through discipline, rather than instruct and guide them. Since then I have tried to see and treat him differently, using more positive reinforcement than negative. The effects have been noticeable and encouraging.

A friend, an extremely reputable source, recommended this book: The Mother in Me: Real-World Reflections on Growing Into Motherhood. I immediately ordered it a few weeks ago and read it today while my kids were playing outside. I couldn't put it down. Some of the reflections touched me deeply. Some thoughts explained word for word the experiences that I am having in my life right now. Some thoughts brought back strong feelings from when my children were newly born. As I read them, I felt strengthened, saddened at times, and lifted as I was reminded of the enormous and wonderful work mothers are blessed with.

As my children grow and become more independent, I am simply humbled and amazed by them. I expect a lot of them, but I desperately want them to be happy. So much is clouded day after day with the little responsibilities of life. I recognize now that this Mother's Day is serving as a reminder for me, more than anything else, of my responsibility to mother, nurture, teach, love, and guide my children. Any gifts or acts of love that I receive this year from my husband and children will only be added bonuses to this gift, this reminder, that I have already received.


Amanda said...

Thank for visiting and commenting on my blog... I love to get comments! We are also facing a move with kids and it does hover additional clouds in our thoughts. Thank you for the book recommendation in this post...I think it will be a must read for me!

cheri said...

i will definitely look for this book in our local bookstores. i couldnt order it online because i snipped my credit card to cut down on expenses.

i find myself in a depressed state, mainly because i realize that i'm a bad mommy because i yell at my son to do things more often than not :(

Barb's blessings said...

Dearest Liz,

How I wish my children had been blessed with a mother like you. But they got the one that Heavenly Father intended them to have, of that I am certain. Nothing we do in life provides the growth and introspection that mothering brings. The challenge of motherhood is that you won't know for sure if you succeeded or failed for another 20 years, or more, when they are raising children of their own and you can watch them nurture, love, and lead their own little flock.

I'm still waiting . . . But I will be a grandma in August and I can't wait to see it all unfold.

I will look for that book for Roger and Amanda.

Love you to pieces.


PS Big interview tomorrow from 8:00 - 12:30. Prayers please!

Liz said...

You totally have our prayers, AB!!