Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Relationship & the Blog

I finally watched the movie Julie & Julia. It felt extremely slow initially (my husband left), but then I ignored everything going on around me (unusual and difficult for a mom of four) so that I could hear every word. The language and rhythm of the movie seemed to pull me in, the longer I watched, and in the end, I felt enriched.

A friend had recommended the movie. I told her that the blog had introduced new issues into our marriage relationship. Last week, my husband read through my blog at three different times and criticized at least one thing, each time. At one point he said I just needed to stop blogging because I was not making any sense and just "did not sound good" - (and strongly encouraged me to put off blogging at least until we move in a few weeks, and the stress dissipates a bit). I started feeling stressed while I was blogging and wondering what my husband would say about my thoughts.

Then, he found The Mountain Bike. He asked me to think about it (assuring me that he would break even by selling his "old" mountain bike). I told him all I could think about was how he was criticizing my blog posts. He promised not to read the blog unless I asked him to, and that he would be supportive of it. There were three other promises made that night - and, really, the bike was a cheap price for me to pay for those promises.

I found an article in Real Simple on worrying. One of the worries addressed was: the State of your Relationship. I looked it over and our marriage looks pretty good. (Unfortunately, we do like spending time together, a lot, which isn't really allowed when you are married to a physician resident.) I've taken back the promise for him not to read the blog since then. (If I can't accept criticism from my own husband, then who can I accept it from?) I liked the relationship that Julie, in the movie, had with her husband, but even they had their rough spots - minus the four children, residency schedule, etc. etc. In the end though, marital issues seem to provide interesting thoughts to blog about, anyway.

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