defining myself

A friend of mine (older, with teenagers) years ago was suddenly quite changed and often seemed sad.  Another friend said to me, "It's because of the choices that her children are making right now; and she defines herself entirely by the successes of her children."

Often I wonder if I write too much on my blog about parenting.  But, honestly, it is my life right now.  I have many peripheral responsibilities with church, volunteering, working, friends, etc., but everything revolves around my children.  When I started this blog, I imagined myself writing posts about humanitarian projects, public health issues, traveling experiences, injustices, politics, style... you know, everything and anything super interesting to me.  But, most days, I can only think of something that has happened earlier that day with my kids, something that I just need to write about.

Sometimes I wonder if I too am defining and valuing myself by their successes.  It is so easy to do.

But, I know life will change, and much too quickly.  They will grow and become more independent.  They will become totally submersed in their relationships with friends, their school work (hopefully) and other activities.  My involvement with them will change.

By the way, my 8-year old just now asked me what one-of-the-worst-swear-words means.  Any suggestions?  I'm sure I turned red when he said it, and stumbled to explain how powerful and yucky the word is, but he wanted more.  He said, "But, why is it a swear word?  What does it mean?"  It was another one of those moments when I wondered if I ever should have become a mom.