Sunday, April 29, 2012

a visitor that changed me

One of my sweet roommates from college visited a while back. I wrote this post, and never posted it...  As I reread it tonight, all of the feelings flooded back in, and I appreciated my advice to myself.

She stayed with us for a full week.  The transition I went through during the week was significant.

My friend doesn't have children - yet.  And, as you all know, our home is full of children... and arguing... and running... and whining... and laughing... and screaming... and crying... and... all-around complete craziness...

My friend is Healthy.  Organic.  No sweets, no sugar, lots of fruits, and many more vegetables - a lot more than fruits - every single meal, every single day.  She is also calm, sweet, smart and methodical.  She is extremely laid back but also constantly explores and seeks to learn more about the world around her.  Time is extremely valuable to her.  She spends it wisely.  She cares about people.  She must have time to think, to read, to walk, to talk.

My children fought, bickered, whined, acted out - possibly more during this week, than they ever have during their entire short lifetimes combined.

I panicked.

I started to look at myself in The Way I assumed my friend must have been viewing me.

I panicked again.  Then I thought about giving up, right then and there.  Then, I decided to just make a few small changes.

Maybe sometimes self reflection requires having a friend visit.  Maybe it doesn't.  Maybe it was The Week for me to remember what is most important, to focus in on it, and hopefully improve in ways that otherwise I would have continued ignoring.

I am going to be nicer.  I am going to be more patient.  I am going to move more slowly.  I am going to eat fresher food.  I am going to clean less and talk with my kids more.  I am going to make every moment count.

Some day my life will be quiet, my house will be clean, and I will have more time to think...   But right now, I have to focus on loving my husband and my kids, (and maybe also on doing laundry and the dishes before they overtake the house).  I can't spread myself too thin, right?


Jamie Lamb said...

I can really relate. I've also been trying to focus on "sections" of my life/parenting hoping it will help me be more day at a time, right?

sigh. :)

Britt-Marie said...

I know that feeling. Thanks for the reminder. Sabrina always is great about reminding me to relax and also to enjoy my kids more.