My husband and I talked. And talked and talked and talked. The other night - after I wrote the post below. I received amazing advice to "stay positive" and "be myself" and decided to call my husband before going to sleep (he was on call). With the intent to be positive and loving, I approached our argument with a very different perspective than I had earlier in the day - and it helped tremendously.
We were actually able to talk - especially since I stopped attacking and complaining.
But, even with my positive attitude, all of it was painful... but totally worth it.
I feel like I recently have written something similar to this... us discussing our deepest desires, priorities and beliefs... exploring various ways to work around differences and forgive each other for hurtful comments and deciding on ways we can support and love each other in new ways. Oh the drama of this year! I cannot believe how much we've been through in seven short months. It seems like the drama we've experienced this last year of residency is more than double the amount of drama we had during the other ten and a half years of our marriage combined.
However, after this last argument, I was impressed by how much more deeply I came to know my husband, how much more I felt I had given of myself to him, how much more we came to understand each others' needs and desires, and how our love for each other becomes so much richer and stronger as we forgive and sacrifice for each other.
I am so grateful for my husband, he talks through things - sometimes much more than I would like to - but we can always work things out. He persists in ensuring that I know he loves me and will do anything to make me happy. At one point during our argument my husband said, "I would be willing to quit everything tomorrow if you asked me to." Isn't that sweet?
I can't imagine being married to anyone else.