Saturday, May 8, 2010

A Birds & Bees Talk

I was (clearly) totally unprepared for this conversation with my 5-year old on Thursday:

5-year old: Mom, how do you get a baby inside your tummy?
Me: Uhhh.
5-year old: Like, does a baby just start growing inside your tummy all of the sudden, or, if you really, really want a baby, do you just get pregnant with one inside your tummy?
Me: Uhhhhhhh... Well, like doggies and bears and birds, there is always a mommy and a daddy, and they make a baby together.
5-year old: I don't understand. A baby can't just come... how do they make the baby?
Me: Uhhhhhh...

(My daughter and her friends play "house" 90% of their time together. They argue about which girl will be the mom, which will be the big sister, and which will be the baby "inside so-and-so's tummy". Basically they talk about having babies, makeup, having babies, barbies, and having babies, - and sometimes they mix in werewolves (someone's mom must be reading the Twilight series??). So, I know where this is coming from. But, for any other child a simple explanation would suffice - like for my 7-year old - but not my 5-year old: she likes to fully comprehend things and will question everything until she "gets it", so I know that I am in big trouble.)

Me: Well, a mommy and daddy decide that they want a baby and then they just have a baby together.
5-year old: Well, I don't understand. You are saying: blah, blah, and they have a baby. I don't understand what you are saying. Like, can a 14-year old girl get pregnant?
Me: Ye-e-es-s-s. But, that would not be a good thing if a 14-year old got pregnant.
5-year old: Why not? And how would a 14-year old girl get pregnant if she is not married?
Me: We-e-e-l-l-l... A 14-year old would want to go to school and play with her friends, and she would have to have a job and work to make money to take care of the baby, and she would need to take care of the baby. Doesn't that sound hard?
5-year old: Yes.
Me: So, what did you do with your friends at your play group today?

Seriously, just hit me over the head with a frying pan! I dodged it this time, mainly because I could not get over the fact that she is only 5!!

So, this introduces a new challenge for me: to get prepared for the next time those questions come at me from my 5-year old, and I'm sure they will be coming again - very soon.


Katy said...

Yes, it can definitely catch you off guard when they start asking questions so early. Our policy has always been to just answer honestly and openly (on an age appropriate level) so they grow up knowing the facts and being comfortable talking to us about these topics. Our girls are both very familiar with the "facts of life" and seem to just accept them and take them in stride. Now that you know she's thinking about it and asking questions, I think it would be great to decide with Jared what facts you feel comfortable with your five-year-old daughter knowing, and answer her questions accordingly the next time she broaches the subject.

Liz said...

Thanks, Katy, for the ideas. You are the best mom!