While my husband was doing his undergrad and pre-med course work, I met a doctor's wife who gave me lots of advice about surviving medical school and residency. After we talked for a while, she said, "... and, don't worry, your husband will come back after residency." I looked at her puzzled. She explained, "It will feel like you are married to a completely different person during his years of residency, but the person you married and love will come back after he finishes his residency."
Hm.
At the time, I thought little of it. But now, I think I may be tasting a bit of what she described. (It reminds me of childbirth - everyone can tell you how painful or horrible, or even how wonderful it is, but until you actually experience it yourself, you really have absolutely no idea.
I had no idea how hard residency would be.
And we are only 5 days into it.
Hopefully that means we will eventually get used to it, find a groove, and press forward... happily... with smiles and kisses... and lots of laughs.
I really didn't think this blog would be so much fun for me, and so healing. I'm not sure how many people read it, but appreciate the sparse comments when they appear. It's interesting how clarifying it is to think through experiences and thoughts and then write them down. So, thanks for reading them and sometimes giving me advice via comments; I enjoy them, and really do love to get advice.
2 comments:
My husband is a 4th yr surgical resident, and we also have a 7 yr old, 5 yr old, and 2 yr old. (We would also have a crawling baby, but I miscarried last summer.)
Anyways, I agree that writing your thoughts is essential to succeeding in a high-stress lifestyle. I adore my journal with all my heart--I write everything down, analyze it, reread it, PRAY, come to sensible conclusions, and finally learn to cope...and then smile and feel happy again.
It's so hard for your completely sleep-deprived husband to be what he would be otherwise...(practical, organized, dependable, conversive...you know, the basics.) :)
He and I both understand that...but sometimes being ignored is still just being ignored, and it hurts--even when you understand the reason (he's TIRED!) So (when he IS home) I sometimes send him to bed early, MISS him, and pull out the journal. We don't watch TV, and I really like to reflect on the day before I go to sleep. It keeps me feeling at peace.
By the way--is this a second residency your husband just started? Just curious! :)
Liz,
I ALWAYS read your blog. I don't always impart my wisdom because most of the time I don't have any but I am your numero uno fan. Keep writing.
Love ya, AB
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