I've learned lately that my husband HAS TO BE HERE when it comes to disciplining our children.
In the past, I have consistently pushed things under the table, and been obsessed with encouraging his interactions with the kids be nothing but positive.
But, now I think I will take it all back.
My kids, particularly my oldest son right now, need to be disciplined by their dad, and me. My husband had a long talk with my son the other day about listening to and responding to my requests, and taught him a simply rule: always show respect to your mom.
The change was immediately noticeable.
How simple it was. How painless for me. How important a conversation for my son, and my husband.
So, after witnessing that, why do I still find myself trying to sugar coat everything for my husband? I think sometimes I only want positive interactions between my kids and my husband because he is home so infrequently. But, now I know first-hand how wonderful it is to have my husband involved in disciplining our children, and how incredibly effective and necessary it is, so why is it still so hard?
I guess I'm writing this so that I will remember it more - and forget about making their nightly interactions as unrealistic as possible.
1 comment:
I don't have kids, but I can understand that impulse to make everything as perfect as possible when the husband is home. When I have time, I try to make the house perfectly clean... and I try to do all the cooking and shopping and laundry... But it's honestly overwhelming. I may not work 30-hour shifts like he does, but I do frequently work from 8:00 to 6:30 and then 9:00 to midnight. I think life would be more managable if he were to help out when he's home... And I don't think he minds THAT much (I mean, no one LIKES chores).
Okay. Wow. I guess I have strong feelings about this topic. And I like your idea of being open to letting him help!
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