An anonymous reader left a comment under the tab: Being Married to a Doctor. She is engaged to a doctor who has two years left of residency. She wrote: "All around me, I am being asked if I am ready to be a doctor's wife, and do I know what is expected of me? Am I sure I can handle the lifestyle? Do I have cause to be scared out of my mind, or should I just take a chill pill?"
My advice to Anonymous is, first, to commit yourself to your husband, and second, to fill your life with things that make you feel validated and happy.
Oh, and also: don't worry about what other people say. I have met an entire spectrum of "types" of physicians' spouses. There are only perceived expectations - there is no "recipe" to follow in order to be "a doctor's wife."
At the end of my mission, my mission president said to me, "When you are married, there will come a time when you will disagree with your husband, and you will not feel love towards him. That is when it will matter more than ever whether you are committed to him. Your level of commitment must be 100%. Of course you will love him most of the time, but that will - sometimes - not be enough." I think this is invaluable advice.
I believe the pressure physicians are under is enough to make most people crack. I know that I could not deal with someone dying under my care, or even risking the possibility of giving the wrong orders and thus increase someone's physical suffering. Everyone changes during their lifetimes. Already, my husband and I are very different people than we were ten years ago when we were married. But, during residency, I believe, physicians change a lot - out of necessity - in order to survive. Your husband will be immersed in his work, which is a good thing. Surround yourself with your own passions. But, stay committed to each other throughout it all, though at times it will feel like you are leading separate lives.
A doctor's wife once told me that during residency I would wonder what happened to my husband - because he would be a completely different person. But, she also assured me that "he would be back." I can't yet confirm the truthfulness of her statement, but it daily provides me with a ray of hope.
And, just a little side note, if you (Anonymous) are in love with him while he is in the middle of his residency, I'm pretty sure things can only get better!