I thought this article was rather entertaining: Do Women Like Child Care More Than Men? In it the author discusses possible reasons behind statistics from recent polls, and attempts to determine if women truly find child care more satisfying than men. (I think the illustration at the top of the article is so, so great!)
However, I don't necessarily agree that "men are missing out" but rather that their whole beings are focused on providing for their families, and thus, the majority of their energy and main focus are in an entire different realm - at least my husband's is. I don't blame him at all when he has no interest in cleaning the house, folding laundry, cooking dinner, or reading books to the kids before bed. When I was in school studying for my masters, I hoped every single time that I headed home that dinner would be on the table and someone else would put my kids to bed. (I don't know if that ever happened but I do clearly remember the feeling of mental exhaustion.)
I also do believe that women are in comparison more "designed" for child care. It was interesting to read about the varying levels of testosterone and interest in babies. (But, I also must admit that I doubt I would put that I feel happy (or even half happy) when I have lots of laundry to do, or when I need to clean up after my 2-year old has an "accident." I'm not sure what could have been on that survey... Anyways. The enjoyment doesn't come in those moments, it comes during moments that are just as brief and just as forgettable - when my 2-year old runs up and hugs my leg, yelling "Help Mom! Z is trying to get me!" and then runs away laughing as my 4-year old runs after him.
My husband, just the other night, put our kids to bed while I went to a church activity. When I arrived home, he said to me: "They all brushed their teeth and we read scriptures together. They are all sound asleep. I am such a good mom."
Then I looked around the house. Priority is everything. So is multitasking.
And, I must add, so is finding joy in what we do each day.
1 comment:
I agree with you, Liz. I don't think my husband is missing out on parenting due to a lack of "child care" drive any more than I think I'm missing out due to a lack of "wrestling and screaming with children" drive.
Of course I get more satisfaction from knowing my kids have rash-free hinders and uncrusty ears...I'm a mom. And he gets lots of satisfaction from all sorts of goofy dad stuff. No biggie.
Does anyone else find it entertaining that someone actually did a study on this? I think the next earth-shattering study should be entitled:
"Apples vs Oranges, is one REALLY better than the other?" That should clear up so much confusion for the world! :)
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