Wednesday, August 8, 2012

a little advice, please

Does anyone have advice for a wife of an OBGYN or Family Practice physician?  A reader recently asked for advice about dealing with having a husband who is often performing pelvic exams, pap smears, breast exams, etc.  I gave her my two cents, but feel that someone who is actually dealing with the same situation could offer much better advice. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!  Thanks!


From A Doctors Wife said...

Sorry, not a OB wife but this was something I remember talking with my husband about during medical school and during his OBGYN rotation his intern year. He said the first few pelvic exams and breast exams were awkward. He was trying to pay attention to where he was putting his hands so as to not make the patient uncomfortable. He was trying to figure out what he should be feeling. The last thing on his mind was actually what body part he was touching. Physicians (except those perverts that make the news every few years) have a gift for isolating parts and maintaining focus. A breast is a breast, a vagina is a vagina - just like an arm is an arm, and a leg is a leg. Exams become routine, they aren't arousing, and in the case of a male doctor there is always someone else present. My husband sees naked bodies every day in surgery. He has yet to encounter a super-model. I am so thankful for the good men and women who provide excellent OBGYN care and I have never felt like they were enjoying giving the exam or lingered too long. They are professionals and I trust them to behave as such.

Katie Tyler said...

Hey Liz, I sent your link to a friend of ours whose husband is an OBGYN-- hopefully she can help :) I have had moments of concern with this with JT being in the ER. (You'd be surprised and horrified how many drunk women they get who love to be naked-- so it isn't even for an exam - it just because they are being idiots)
Good Luck

docwife said...

It is not anything I have given a second thought TBH.
DH is not a OB/GYN but after four years of med school and five years of residency (the first being mainly general med rotations) there has been a lot of those types of exams.
I don't think it can be construed as sexual in any way...and my advice is to not let it bother them. Because really...there are many things to hate about med school and don't need to add another worry.

Liz said...

Thank you, everyone!! My main advice was to focus on her marriage relationship - strengthen her communication with her husband, talk about her concern... but ultimately not to allow it to concern her.

I also reminded her that there are gorgeous, intelligent, witty, fun, flirtatious residents, physicians, nurses, etc. surrounding our husbands every day... and I would worry much more about them than someone on the table... :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Everyone, I've been dating a resident for a while now and we will soon be moving in together. He talks to me about seeing young women naked and comments on some of them having nice (attractive) bodies. I get pretty upset about it, but I haven't said anything because I read everywhere about how professional doctors are and I know it's his job, so it's something he must do, but I don't like it. Any helpful advice? He's only 27, so I'm hoping he'll grow out of actually taking notice of how nice some of their bodies are.

Anonymous said...

95% of patients have unenviable bodies, so no need to worry there.